Dalton reunion Dalton
America

A Family Group Project		 Old Pittsylvania Clerk's office

Background
Menu

Origin of the Daltons at the Focus of Our Project

History of Our Family Group Project

How do I join the Dalton America project?

Privacy and Sharing my DNA Results

Which DNA test should I purchase?

For Y-DNA Members

How do Y-DNA results tell me about my ancestors?

Working with my Y-DNA  Matches
- Step 1: Reading my Y-DNA Matches
-Step 2: Preparing my Y-DNA dashboard
-Step 3: Connecting with my Y-DNA matches

For atDNA Members (FF)

How do atDNA results tell me about my ancestors?

Working with my FF Matches
- Step 1: Reading my FF Matches
- Step 2: Preparing my FF dashboard
- Step 3: Connecting with my FF cousins


Return to Dalton America Home Page

Working with my Family Finder matches

Step 3: Connecting with my matches (Family Finder)

One of the joyful moments that comes from your DNA experience is the exhilaration of finding out things you never knew about a new or familiar ancestor by meeting a cousin you didn't know that you had.  This is the essential experience of Family Finder (FF).  We have mentioned that what family finder achieves is to identify cousins with whom you share DNA inherited from your ancestors known and unknown.  Thus, corresponding effectively with those cousins is a necessary skill to making the most of your investment in AtDNA. will pay you dividends as you learn information about your family through your connecting with your matches.  So, you begin that process when a cousin is identified, and hopefully continue it as you and your match explore together information and stories of your family .

The First Message

There are many suggestions and model emails out in the world, going to people whose DNA matches another.  One could nearly write a book.  But the simple fact is, all those suggestions can be boiled down to two lists:  the Dos and the Don’ts.

 

Before you send off that request, look to see if your match has identified his/her family's surnames and locations or, better yet, posted a family tree which can give you an idea of  his/her knowledge of the family.  In fact, do YOU have you posted on your Dashboard your family surnames and locations, and a family tree?  If not, you might be missing requests from your matches which could help you in your search.

 

If your match does not have a family tree, be prepared to request some information about their four grandparents.  And in return, send them brief information about yours.

 

Since you will probably send them an email, begin by clicking on the email icon in the third column of the match line.  When your email program opens, you are ready to formulate a message.  Here are some dos and don'ts for a first message: 


The Subject Line
Do Use Names
  • "We may share  the same Smith family"
  • "My Smith family may be your family as well"
 Don't Use Pronouns
  • Not "I think I know your family"
  • Not "My family is related to you"
The Message Text
Do Make it Brief!
  • Tell why you made contact and and what you are looking for
  • Invite the match to look at your tree
  • Pick a "brick wall" ancestor and give their vital information
 Don't Present Your Entire Genealogy
  • Not "I'll begin with myself and tell you all I know."
  • Don't initially ask the recipient to see their tree.
  • Don't overwhelm the recipient with long lists of help you need them to tell you
Closing the Email
Do Encourage Them to Reply
  • "Thanks for considering my request" or "Thank you for reading my email"
  • "I look forward to sharing information on our family."
 Don't End Abruptly
  • By just signing your name
  • Use emogees

These suggestions are a start. You will certainly think of more ways to get their attention, be as brief as possible the first time, and make it clear what family or piece of information you hope to find.

 

Save your contact email:  it might be a useful template as you need to make more contacts.  And if you don’t get a response, give them some time then gently try again.  Do realize that some people did not pursue DNA testing because they were looking for unknown family.  AtDNA tests are the most widely available from many companies and people sometimes take them just to learn their ethnicity or the country from which their ancestors immigrated.  In that case, they may not be interested in pursuing information with you.  After a failed effort or two to contact them, this will become obvious to you.
 

Subsequent Exchanges

Once you have established a connection with your cousin, there are four primary objectives that you should pursue together.

First, locate your most recent common ancestor.  This work proceeds by comparing your surname lists and ultimately by comparing family trees.  Don't be surprised to find more than one common ancestor.  Especially in isolated geographic regions, this is common.

Second, exchange information each of you has acquired.  Birth dates and places, marriage dates and places, death dates and places, military service, land owned etc.  Information is often passed down through families and if so is accessed only through contact among family members.  Expanding the circle of family members is one of the invaluable aspects of DNA research.

Third, sorting true from false information.  Some information passes from generation to generation with elaboration and erosion of memory.  This is why there is such an emphasis on documentary genealogy to expand and verify information.  Explore the sources for the information that you are sharing.  Do not fear a challenge to how you acquired information.  It is part of learning about ancestors.  And do not fear to ask your match where information they obtained the facts that they have. This process of exchange is even more important in the age of the internet in which false and disinformation can spread so widely and so rapidly.  When you obtain the sources of information from your match, evaluate its reliability and record where the information came from.

Fourth, family stories.  Vital information on ancestors is one thing, but stories about ancestors -- "We understand Martha was an outspoken woman.  Uncle Roy used to tell about the time . . ." -- provide much more depth in your knowledge of your ancestors.  They can finally come to life.

Recording the Information

The final stage is to capture the information from the connection to your match in your own records, noting its source so you can give credit.  Such thoroughness will pay dividends for many years in the future for whomever reads about your family.




Background